


The Right Way Round

by silasfinch



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Baby Animals, F/F, Falling In Love, Families of Choice, Family Feels, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2019-07-18 23:06:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16128593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silasfinch/pseuds/silasfinch
Summary: AU: Charity Dingle is trying to be a better mother to her youngest boys. Apparently this means rescuing strays and getting help from the local vet, who she may or may not have a crush on. A year in the life.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Premise: Charity is supported by Irene and the Stocks family but that doesn't stop her from making plenty of mistakes but has a stronger foundation of support. 
> 
> AN: I have Cerebral Palsy so I fell in love with this couple as soon as I read about Ryan and this idea wouldn't let me go. Please be gentle with any critiques of grammer as I have dyslexia and worked hard on the spelling etc. There will be mistakes.

  
_All we do is hide away_  
_All we do is, all we do is hide away_  
_All we do is chase the day_  
_All we do is, all we do is chase the day_  
_All we do is play it safe_  
_All we do is live inside a cage_  
_All we do is play it safe_  
_All we do, all we do_  
_I've been upside down_  
_I don't wanna be the right way round_

**Oh Wonder: All We Do**

This parenting thing is incredibly hard work.

Charity Dingle knows this in principle of course; she's given birth to four children by four fathers; these men are varying degrees of criminal, awful and troubled. She didn't get to this point without sleepless nights, colic episodes, projectile vomiting and increasingly complicated homework to complete. The anxiety of Ryan in the early years, when he would stop breathing and jerk his tubes out, still gives her terrors.

Irene Stocks is the best foster mother anyone could ask for; nevermind a mouthy pregnant teenager, trying to survive on the streets with a series of increasingly violent 'clients'. The midwife didn't need to become her fiercest advocate and touchstone, but for whatever reason she did and that hadn't changed in the intervening decades. Her proudest achievements were ensuring Charity completed a baseline education and Ryan was thriving even living with Cerebral Palsy.

The lure of Dingle genes proved too strong for the fairytale ending though. There are children too young and far too many dysfunctional relationships. Irene refuses to let her self-destruct and is there for every drama and disappointment.

It takes years, but Charity finally finds a counseller that gets her and lands on her feet. However, her past parenting mistakes and neglect still weigh heavily. She is trying to be different with her youngest two boys: Moses and Noah and her grandkids.

  
Not everybody would consider part ownership in the local pub a success, but it provides stability for her kids, its close to Irene and Ryan and plays to her strengths. She is establishing a relationship with her daughter and grandchildren with the guidance of her foster. She wants to do better by all her relatives who stuck by her through the nightmares. For the most part; she is succeeding. The boys trust her which is a precious gift.

As of 2017 becoming a better parent involves acquiring pets for her boys, its one of the few things a three-year-old and a near fourteen-year-old can agree on; that their lives won't be complete without the addition of an animal or two. There is little doubt that they are her children (village scandal notwithstanding) but the tenacity and relentlessness of their campaign prove their shared lineage.

Noah talks about the benefits of owning pets and how he will take responsibility for the care feeding. There are graphs and photos involved before and after school. Charity can't help but be impressed when he offers a 'School Attendance/Grade contract' as a bargaining chip. His research is systematic and extends to research the suitability of the Woolpack environment and her shifts for pet ownership.

Ryan gently reminds her of the joy they both had from pets with the Stocks. Charity was so young when he was born they experience these things together. Her oldest son is sneaky enough to 'find' old images of them with the family dog, birds and cats. Irene reminds her of how much she learnt at Noah age from merely having the stability of unconditional love.

Even Mosses is in on the affair, at his brothers urging Charity suspects. His new favourite bedtime story revolves around a boy and his puppy. He gets no points for originality but plenty for being adorable.

  
***

Charity holds a vague hope they will gradually work their way up the animal kingdom.

She could almost cope with a hamster in the corner somewhere or a fish that gets fed every few days. Noah has already promised to set a roster of pet chores if she agrees. The Woolpack is already a revolving door of visiers and tasks, what's one more stray to the mix?. Her hours are flexible enough to do primary care. Charity even has fond memories of the Stocks birds and how quickly they took to Ryan. A succession of budges become his confidants and playmates. Despite her reputation Charity is tenderhearted and would take responsibility for animals seriously, especially a rescue A near miss with a woman's beloved poodle was the catalyst for her restricting her drinking.

Her vain hope ends when Noah breaks curfew and comes home at 11 pm cradling two squirming creatures.

"What time do you call this?"

Charity is proud of becoming the type of parent that notices bedtimes and assignment deadlines, even if she and Noah are still finding their way back to each other.

"Mum somebody dumped these guys, and they are sick. I think somebody glued the fur." Noah sounds as if ran home at a full sprint.

Whatever the mixture it is currently staining Noah's new uniform and he is likely to get a detention for the infraction.

The two shapes are barely recognisable as animals much less living ones. At first glance, it looks like Noah picked up two wet rags but the puppy shifts in his grip and the kitten squirms from beneath his sweatshirt.

The patheticness of the creatures tugs at her long dormant heartstrings.

There is something almost familiar about their terrified but exhausted gaze.

A frantic search of Google and a late night call to (a surprisingly willing) Moira yields necessary information on how to get glue and oil out of animal fur. Fortunately, Chas is obsessed with pub regulation, and they have an excellent first aid kit with gloves and medical scissors. Moses has sensitive skin, so she has eco-friendly supplies in the house. It doesn't take long to gather paper towels, warm water and a fur specific removal mixture.

They tackle the kitten first who seems the most sluggish. Noah cradles it carefully as his mother tries to remove the stuff from essential places like eyes and mouth.

"Get me as many towels and blankets as you can and bring in the heater, make beds for them in the corner. They will be frightened, and we don't want them going into shock."

***

Charity Dingle needs Vanessa Woodfield's help.

They have done a credible job of immediate care, but there are limits to both Dr Google's knowledge and how much Moira is willing to help her one-time love rival.

This reality would be less of a problem if one of her favourite pastimes weren't teasing and bickering with the other woman at any given opportunity. Half the village and most of her family (pretty much the same thing by blood, marriage or scandal) claims, with either humour or scorn, that she verbally spares with anybody who enters The Woolpack. This assessment doesn't bother her, but she does have a code; she never teases those who are genuinely vulnerable and defenceless.

Ryan has a quick wit and a charming personality which quickly earned protectors from the bullies, but Charity still loathes the odd comment and mockery he faces. The troublemakers in town realise promptly to avoid targeting the sick, injured or tragic in Charity's hearing. Lifetime bans are the least of the possible consequences.

Everyone else needs to be willing to face a fair bit of banter before their pint. Traditional bartenders listen and soothe problems; Miss Dingle enjoys nothing more than poking the hornet's nest and seeing what secrets the judgemental citizens of Emmerdale are trying to hide. The Dingle name may be synonymous with trouble, but it certainly isn't the only one no matter what Megan likes to think.

The dynamic with Vanessa is different but no less satisfying and amusing. There is just such a contrast between the open, friendly person who everybody adores and somebody haunted by sapphic desires. Emmerdale is about as LGBT friendly as small farming towns get. Her father thinks his oldest daughter hang the solar system and won't care, but she limits herself to longing looks and mooning over her junkie best friend. The two sides of Dr Woodfeild annoy her as much as they intrigue her. For a bossy, spoiled control freak the local vet does not pull her punches and is perfectly willing to trade barbs with her over a pint.

"Having a supportive family who isn't going to disown you counts for a lot but it isn't everything." Vanessa confides one night when the bar is empty.

Charity kisses her in place of any actual words of comfort.

The town is scandalised when it learns their banter led to a one-night stand.

It's a fantastic night, and Charity still gets shivers thinking about the experience. Unlike her previous conquests, she doesn't brag or disgust Chas with graphic details. This particular interlude she keeps away from the gossip or speculation, even when Tracey tries to corner her in the flower shop. Irene's efforts to instruct her in morals and decency are hit and miss at best. However, the one thing Charity learnt is that if people are vulnerable, you don't toy with them for gratification.

"By all means fight tooth and nail for your rights but don't you dare become a bully like the ones your son will face."

Vanessa doesn't have the stomach for a casual fling, not with Charity anyway. The idea of coursing the kind-hearted vet pain is sickening, so she reluctantly and gently rebuffs requests for a repeat performance. Her explanations are clumsy, and the other woman looks both hurt and embarrassed.

"What makes me so special for you to grow a conscience? How do you know I'm not after a bit of fun, you don't have a monopoly on casual sex Charity."

Vanessa only comes in when Chas is on shift after that; Charity tries to make it easier by disappearing if Ness looks like its been a long day of cow rangling. Paddy is a pushover and texts her their timetable.

Charity takes several photos of the animals and a brief explanation. Hopefully, it will be enough to appeal to Vanessa better nature.

  
***

"Wow, the locum vets are getter younger by the year."

"Surprisingly it can be challenging to find childcare at 2 am. Tracey and Dad are on holiday."

Vanessa unceremoniously dumps her son into Charity's arms, apparently having no qualms about trusting young Johnny to the town witch. Charity instantly shifts to take the weight; it's not that much different from holding Moses. She smiles fleetingly at the Pjs covered into animals from Pet Petrol; naturally, a Woodfield would choose such a print.

"I didn't do anything to them."

The defensive whisper is an instinct as they cross the space to where the dog and cat are lying on a makeshift bed in the central room. Noah is carefully continuing the rub down process, wincing every time he hits a snag in the fur.

"You are many things Charity Dingle, but one thing I know for sure you don't get your kicks from torturing animals and leaving them to die" Vanessa replies grimly.

"Wow, a high opinion that I won't let it go to my head" Charity quips drily as she rocks a restless Johnny back to sleep.

"Unlike most of the town, I think I've earned the right to have ambivalent feelings about you, Charity. I'll do an initial assessment while you put the youngest boys to bed, Noah can be my assistant in the meantime. Put on a brew; we'll be here for a while."

The bar owner doesn't have a good retort for that one, and Dr Woodfeild is already entirely focused on the animals. Charity Dingle refuses to allow herself to be bossed around by anyone since her last spectacular failure of a marriage. However, there is something about the tiny opinionated vet that inspires cooperation, heck even the cranky cows follow her led with minimal destruction. The farmers sing Dr Woodfeild's praises in the pub and often buy her rounds to celebrate a successful calving season or whatever else she does in between distracting Charity from her crosswords.

The boys fall asleep quickly on account of both the hour and the village Children's Fair that was particularly colourful this year, .even Noah cracked a smile or two at the sight of his youngest brother having such fun. Johnny is a biddable toddler and takes the disruption in stride chatting sleepily and snuggling against Mosses.

"Who would do this, Vanessa? They weren't hurting anyone."

Noah's plaintive voice reaches his mother as she makes the requested tea, oddly she remembers exactly how the vet likes her brew even though she struggles to recall her former husband's birthdays. When things were at the stormiest and most passionate with Cain, it wasn't the domestic details that defined their relationship.

How was Dr Sunshine going to answer, that one?

"There are people in the world that do not give life the respect it deserves whether that's hurting animals or humans. I think these two run afoul of a group of thugs that have done this type of thing before. We've treated a couple of cases back at the surgery."

"Bastards" Noah hisses using the mildest of the language he knows.

"Or just very damaged themselves"

Of course, Vanessa is trying to see the good in everyone.

Vanessa is cataloguing all the injuries as she carefully manipulates each joint in turn. Noah is in charge of soothing the animal that isn't facing examination and using Chas's prized hairdryer on the lowest setting to get rid of particularly stubborn grease. He is an indifferent student at best but peppers the vet with questions and observations. In addition to all her other virtues, Vanessa is a Teen Whisper as well.

It would be so much easier if this woman had one discernable flaw.

Or it would be easier if she had a flaw that wasn't both infuriating and adorable at the same time.

  
***

"You did a good job reacting as quickly as you did."

They are having a second cup of tea after Noah heads to bed. The conversation between is surprisingly light and friendly, the tension easing as they work to make the unexpected patients comfortable.

The animals are looking better, but that isn't saying much. The worse of the outer layer of gunk is cut or shaved away, and they are both hydrated with fluids and electrolytes. Two sets of weary eyes blink at Charity as she crouches down beside Vanessa. Despite multiple blankets, both are shivering, and their bones are distressingly prominent. Incongiciously the young dog's tail wags when Ness spoons him a small amount of food.

"Have you given them the good stuff, poor mites."

"As much as I can until getting them to the clinic tomorrow. I'm worried about Rosie's lungs; it's much easier for kittens to crash into respiratory failure. She is responding nicely and seems to be taking the formula. Kittens can turn fast at this age, but fortunately, she is just old enough to wean." Vanessa slips into veterinary speak without even realising it.

Its one of the things Charity likes about Dr Woodfeild she never assumes that bar owner who left school young won't know what she is talking about or at least grasp the basic principles.

"Rosie?"

"Noah's choice - Rosie for the kitten and Axel for the dog. He is doing well by the way, but he is very underweight, and I'll need to grab him cream and tablets.; there is Lurcher in there somewhere but its anyone's guesses what else."

"My kid named them?" Charity asks with a soft groan

"After Axel Rose to impress his big brother," Vanessa confirms with a tired smile.

"Now they are going to be all attached and heartbroken when we find their owners."

Vanessa gently untangled Rosie's claws from her coat and moves to examine the sleeping dog. The kitten meows so piteously that Charity reaches over and settles Rosie down against her chest.

She can sympathize with any being craving and missing Vanessa’s touch.

 

"I'll start the process in the morning, searching the databases and updating the registry but there aren't any owners or if there are we don't want to find them. At a guess, the thugs found them on the outskirts of town. A few animal hoarders live out that way, and the ones I've seen have similar markings, Its a wonder they are so good-natured."

"Christ, do what you can, and I'll bring them in in the morning and settle up the bill."

"I'm not going anywhere. If you have a spare blanket, I'll bunk on the coach."

"I'm perfectly capable of watching them sleep for six hours. I can even bottle feed and give pills" Charity argues softly.

"Yes, but you can't reinflate a collapsed lung or give canine resuscitation nor treat a bit if one of them got scared. It's either here or driving to the clinic, and I don't want to drive all the way there at this hour I can take both Johnny and Moses to school in the morning " Vanessa offers.

Charity shrugs in exasperation before moving to get the bed supplies from the cupboard.

"The coach isn't very comfortable. My bed on the other hand.." she offers over her shoulder.

"You have a Kinsey Response, don't you turning every comment into a pickup line or joke?" Vanessa fires back hotly.

"Only with you, Buttercup."

" You don't expect me to believe I am unique in any way. DId you even give me a second thought? Even as a friend?

Charity is conflicted if she tells Vanessa the truth, that she thinks about the other woman constantly, it would change the status quo. She would have to take steps are daunting, efforts real relationships aren't a Dingle strong suit. However, she can no more look into those big blue eyes and lie than she could leave The Woolpack's newest resistents shivering and terrified. The sick feeling is similar actually; instead, she opts for misdirection.

"All I meant was you could take my bed, and I'll take the couch. Chas has me doing early stock delivery anyway," she explains softly.

"Sleeping on unusual surfaces is practically a job requirement in veterinary school. It doesn't bother me animals rarely keep considering hours. I've spent more nights than I can count on concrete. My height is good for something" Vanessa says easily.

"So have I night on the coach isn't going to bother me either."

"You've earned the comfort of your bed and a reprieve from jerking awake with a dodgy neck." a diplomatic way of mentioning her nightmares and insomnia.

The tenderness in the other woman eyes is far more profound than a simple observation about early mornings and the merits of proper neck support. The realisation makes Charity want to cry and hideaway from the openness and vulnerability.

"Why do you care so much? I certainly haven't given you a reason to spend hours counselling my son and tending strays, human and otherwise" Charity asks with a bitter laugh.

"Because you deserve to be cared about regardless of your shockingly bad people skills. You can control many things, Charity Dingle, who shares your bed, who is worthy of your verbal swordplay, who gets to see the real you. You've more than earned a sense of control. However, you cannot dictate who or what I choose to care about or how I choose to spend my time. Look up the definition of Free Will in one of your dictionaries before bed."

"Vanessa...."

"Go to bed Charity. We can talk about it in the morning if you haven't go back to avoiding me. No, wait please do avoid me if the alternative is flirting with everyone who comes within a mile radius of The Woolpack."

Charity Dingle is no stranger to disappointing people. Obadiah made sure of that rhetoric from an early age, and her succession of stepmothers was little better. However, for all her missteps and misdirections the quiet but genuine disappointment of Vanessa Woodfield hurts the most.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Spring I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update: 2/10/2018
> 
> Charity nods vigorously "is there any end to your talents?" 
> 
> "According to Tracey, I have the fashion sense of James Harriet, and some farmer from the latest session of the Bachelor and I sing only marginally better than my patients" Nessa quips softly. 
> 
> "Hey, there is nothing wrong with your collection of jumpers and raincoats. There is enough overdone makeup in this village to rival 1920s Paris don't change a thing."

  
All we do is hide away  
All we do is, all we do is hide away  
All we do is chase the day  
All we do is, all we do is chase the day

All we do is lie and wait  
All we do is, all we do is lie and wait  
All we do is feel the fade  
All we do is, all we do is feel the fade  
All We Do: Oh Wonder

"Are you sure about this, Ness?"

Vanessa Woodfield suppresses a sigh of irritation, and she finishes making preparations for the Dingle Family to arrive. As their vet tech isn't starting his shift till 8, Rhonda is theoretically helping her. In practice, she is hovering and fretting in equal measure. Their easy banter about Leo and Johnny is dissolving into an almost conflict. Truthfully their easy friendship isn't quite the same since Rhonda's addiction. It's one of the reasons Vanessa became so invested in her relationship (or lack thereof) with Paddy; evidently, the meddling is a two-way street.

"Look if you are worried about the cost of the supplies and our budget for the month, I'll pay for them myself." Vanessa gestures vaguely at the rows of antibiotics and suturing kits

"Of course I'm not worried about the darm supplies. I'm concerned about you getting overly invested in the Dingle Family. You know you tend to throw your whole heart into waifs and strays and is Charity Dingle, a worthy recipient of such kindness?"

Vanessa resists the urge (just barely) to make a snarky reply that Rhonda is in no position to judge from the sidelines after her response to the intervention. The younger vet is rapidly losing patience with how this whole town forms an opinion on the motives and movements of their local bartender and more specifically the obsession with sharing these 'insights'. There is no sense in rehashing old ground especially when they are just finding their rhythm again both personally and professionally. Nessa doesn't have many good friends and less who are caring for toddlers.

"Charity Dingle may be pulling a long con involving feline pneumonia and a malnourished Lurcher, Rhoda. It could all be part of a diabolical plan, but Noah has his heart set on rehabilitating these guys. Therefore they are the newest clients of the Emmerdale Veterinary Surgery."

"You have a big heart, Nessa."

The compliment sits awkwardly between them, the truth of it blurred by the hellish process of detox, hurt feelings and manipulation. Vanessa efforts to accept her sexuality and longing for her friend and colleague were desperate and reckless. It is understandable that they will strike a few emotional landmines.

"Before you go nominating me for sainthood can you drive out to the Hendersons and check on the roan mare? Her last labour was complicated, and I want to start preventative measures if we can."

The joke falls flat, but Rhonda gracefully accepts the face-saving escape route. They are first and foremost a great veterinary team.

"Of course."

***

"So do I need to tell my foster mother to stop knitting jackets and name tags?

Vanessa looks up with a smile as Charity Dingle walks into reception a carry cage in each hand. She looks none the worse for their late and vast amounts of full strength tea. It's almost unfair how effortlessly the taller woman commands attention in the room and can make Nessa smile even on the worst days. There is an odd mixture of pride and nervousness in her expression as she carefully hands over her charges for inspection.

Axel and Rosie have improved for their night of rest and diligent care. However, there are more tests to run and treatments to start. The coil of anxiety in Nessa's stomach won't lessen until the lab work is back with negative readings for several fatal or severe conditions. The Dingle family has enough pain without such news.

"I was right."

"I imagine that happens to you allot Buttercup, to what thing or category of things are you referring to at this time." Charity retorts with a flirtatious smile that somehow manages to be gentle at the same time.

Vanessa ignores the strangled cough from the other examination room. Flirting comes as naturally to this woman as breathing there is no point in reading anything into this type of interaction.

"Axel and Rosie aren't in any of the databases or microchipped. Axel bares a strong resemblance to several litters rescued from a mentally unwell farmer who his stock and dogs get out of control. It's not definitive, but at least we can screen for some genetic abnormalities."

"Dr Woodfeild Veteniary Detective, so that's a yes on Irene's plans to knit them an entire wardrobe, then?" Charity sounds more amused than put out by the prospect.

"Depends what type of wool she uses not everything lasts in the Emmerdale winter. I can do quality control if you like and weed out the leopard print or bright pink."

Charity nods vigorously "is there any end to your talents?"

"According to Tracey, I have the fashion sense of James Harriet, and some farmer from the latest session of the Bachelor and I sing only marginally better than my patients" Nessa quips softly.

"Hey, there is nothing wrong with your collection of jumpers and raincoats. There is enough overdone makeup in this village to rival 1920s Paris don't change a thing."

Nessa isn't the time of person to swoon over pretty words, but she can feel herself blush furiously. It is only the presence of her colleagues that prevents her from saying something unforgivable lovesick or desperate. She'd done the unrequited feelings thing once in this town, and she doesn't need anymore gossip thinly disguised as sympathy. Axel does her a favour by heaving up his breakfast, probably too eager for the meal.

Animals to the rescue in more ways than one.

Charity is becoming attached in spite of herself.

Vanesa is finding a private joy in watching the bond form; nobody gets to see this side of Charity. Long before she become event Nessa judged her friends and acquaintances on their ability to appreciate and interact with animals. You can tell a lot about a person by how far they are willing to go for a creature at their mercy, even if you don't like animals.

Heck, Megan is allergic, and she was heartsick about having to rehome 'Miss Tip." It's part of the reason Vanessa supports her on and off again relationship with her dad.

Charity Dingle is the definition of a caring rescuer as she gently soothes and strokes the huddling dog, her long fingers instinctively avoiding the areas frightened dogs don't contact. There is a faint touch of hometown accent as whispers a string of nonsense in his ear. It's a good sign that the young dog is responsive and receptive to her attention. The ones that shutdown is the hardest to rehabilitate.

"He needs to have regular small meals until his weight stabilises and his stomach adjusts to the presence of food. No matter how tempting don't spoil him with steak or let him binge at meal time. We don't want him developing food aggression, and other bad habits" Vanessa leans in close to avoid disturbing the dog.

"I wish somebody had given me the same advice. I blew my first real allowance from Irene on a three-course meal at a top restaurant. My streetwise digestive tract did not appreciate such rich food. It was lovely that the Stocks took care of me around the clock though, never had that. Projectile vomit and all" the last part is said almost absentmindedly.

"Oh, sweetheart."

Vanessa cannot resist the urge to reach out and gently crease Charity's back. There was nothing sexual or even romantic about the act; it was as automatic as Charity's comfort of the dog.

 

  
****

"Here is the checklist for new pet owners, just in case."

"I haven't made any decisions yet, Nessa."

"Yeah you have but its good to have guidelines even if its just a fostering arrangement."

Charity Dingle isn't the first person to claim that a new animal additional is temporary, but she doesn't look very convincing when she is on the clinic floor cradling a kitten. Nessa knows the other woman is texting a constant stream of updates to her children, complete with pictures and progress reports. Unless something drastic happens Axel and Rosie are becoming the newest Dingle family members. Vanessa likes the image of a cat curled up in Charity's lap while she does her crosswords.

"Here's the bill but feel free to stay as long as you like. If all goes well, I'll bring them back your place after my shift. It's much better for animals who have gone through trauma to enter a home environment as quickly as possible" Nessa says as she hands over several invoices.

"This isn't right."

Vanessa is distracted by checking her schedule for the week. She wants to try and spend extra time with several herds whose cows have skin complaints and aren't responding to treatment. The companionable silence is comforting.

"Hmmm?"

"You've only charged me 200 pounds?"

"Yes sorry I wanted to keep it entirely wholesale, but they both need some reasonably expensive antibiotics. Pearl would lecture me for hours if I went any lower but I can..."

"No Ness. I called you out at 2 am the very least you should charge me is a consulting fee, If not emergency calls out rates. It should be double." Charity explains standing up and waving the invoice."

Vanessa blinks in genuine confusion.

"I would never change you for that. Last night was a friend helping a friend, not a professional consultation. I've done this for other people too." Vanessa says dismissively as if its a ridiculous notion.

"That's a terrible business model. You are friends with half the bloody town. You'll go broke in a month"

  
"Would it make you feel better or worse to know that this is a special rate just for you because of my feelings? Vanessa retorts in a challenging town.

"I.."

"I am not changing the amount."

They are equally stubborn people and are known for arguing the causes for hours. Chas will be in a terrible mood for days if she doesn't show up for her shift soon. Charity can't seem to turn away from the vet who is glaring at her a flush in pale checks. Only Dr Vanessa Elizabeth Woodfield would argue passionately to undercharge someone.

Charity leans forward and kisses the shorter woman. She is irresistible when she is like this, all determined and lovely. The sensation of kissing Vanessa still has such a power over her. Hands tangle in each others hair as they seek other familiar pleasures. Vanessa pulls away before things can escalate further.

"So it turns out I don't do well with blurred lines. You were right I'm not cut for casual flings or friends with benefits. I couldn't even cope with joining Aaron and Robert at the gay club. I'm out of your league, Charity." Vanessa whispers against the other woman's lips.

"That's not what..."

"I have to see a man about a dog. I'll bring the newest Dingles round after my shift"

Charity is rarely at a loss for words, but she is now as Vanessa gently pushes her away and begins packing her vet's bag and checking the patients in the recovery cages.

  
***

"Did you rob a pet store? Please say no, neither you can lie worth a darn and would make horrible criminals."

Charity comes home from a boring shift at the pub to find her house renovated. Her foster mother and eldest son are at the centre of the chaos. Furniture is in different locations to accommodate beds, bowls and toys. There is even a shelf set up in the corner devoted to essential grooming supplies and several new dog leads. Thankfully it is all in neutral shades and doesn't look too out of place.

"This is moderate. You should see what I rejected but lucky you don't welcome mats and personalised statues" Ryan quips as he works to assemble the cat tree.

"Hush you two this is a big moment for Noah. He has talked about having a pet for years, and he is so proud of rescuing those poor creatures." Irene comes with a frown.

"I wonder who could have nurtured the irrepressible need to rescue strays and become devoted to them." Charity asks as gives her foster mother a hug and smiles at Ryan.

"I guess we will never know" Ryan drawls as he completes the project.

  
"I went through less paperwork to have my children."

"Mores the pity," Irene says drily remembering the early days of trying to mould Charity into a suitable mother despite her rocky beginnings.

Charity is sitting at the table carefully reviewing each other forms and requirements. She tries not to smile too broadly at Vanessa's post-it notes filled with commentary and instructions for the home inspection. Mario and Robert are coming round in the weekend to investigate creating a small fenced-in area at the back of the pub.

"It's a big responsibility, and I know how hung up you are on the girl. A little admin is worth the effort, no?"

"We are both in our forties Irene hardly girls anymore."

"Its all a matter of perspective and don't change the subject."

Irene is a loving mother in all but name. Charity refuses to call her mum even though her children call the older woman variations of grandma. The way her father tried to force her to call his successive wives 'mum' is still jarring, it feels like a meaningless title now. Irene never pushed her in either direction but she did but firm boundaries with Ryan to ensure mother-child bounding.

  
***

"This seems familiar."

Charity opens the door to find Vanessa and Johnny on her proverbial doorstep. The Paw Petrol logo is peeking out from the youngest Woodfeid's jacket.

"Moses?" Johnny offers both a question and a demand displaying a similar life approach to his mother.

Vanessa looked uncharacteristically shy and as she guides her son into the room before turning to collect Rosie and Axel who were sleeping in carrier cages, still sedated after local anaesthetic to remove the final clumps of unsalvagable fur. Charity is eager to get them settled in the new surroundings and familiar with their beds. A sense of belonging is invaluable after a traumatic start.

"I have heard nothing but Moses name for the last two hours I need to monitor Axel's temperament now that he is more alert thought a repeat of last night couldn't hurt?" Vanessa asks nervously.

"Of course - We can get your professional opinion on the new set up. Fair warning Noah will keep you up the half night with questions about anatomy and ulcers or such. He has a slightly morbid fascination with wounds and blood."

Vanessa laughs as she shrugs out her coat and crutches down to attend to Johnny. Charity moves to put on a cup of tea, enjoying the quiet before Noah returns home and Chas comes round to discuss pub finances.

"Typical boy. I brought several of my old biology textbooks from uni. Noah might like them or at least find them useful for his exams."

"You'll have a friend for life."

***

"You earned this"

Vanessa offers a grateful smile as she accepts the third cup of tea while watching Rosie as the kitten explored her new domain, as predicted Noah monopolised much of Vanessa time, anxiously getting her approval for his plans to walk Axel every day. It is only the promise that Vanessa will visit every day that finally convinces the teenager to go to bed. Nessa is such a soft touch she is allowing him to text her from bed with questions.

"I don't mind. Noah reminds me of me at that age; I would have given anything to shadow a vet at 13. It's a pleasure."

"Noah is nothing like you, unfortunately. I'm guessing you were never on report for truancy or failed a grade." Charity disagrees with a broad smile.

"I am not the shining light of virtue you and the rest of the town think I am, Charity. I'm sick of hearing that"

"It's just that our little village has low standards for virtue and you managed to exceed them all, Buttercup. You are stuck with the notion I'm afraid."

Vanessa turns to regard the other woman seriously refusing to fall into the familiar routine of their banter as tempting as the idea is after a long day.

"I stole drugs to feed Rhoda's drug habit in a desperate attempt to get her to love me and realise that she wanted to build a life with me, a small herd of cows and all. I knowingly enabled an addict because I wanted her attention." she confusses quietly.

"That only makes you foolish and reckless during your sexuality freakout not bad. Besides addicts are nothing if not master manipulators Rhoda played you like a fiddle. You don't need to trade narcotics for love, Ness, Your first attempt was just clumsy."

"and my second attempt."

"We don't count...it is."

"The bite marks of my scapula would tend to argue what we had was very real. Its a good thing jumpers were already my thing" Vanessa objects sharply.

"I'm just the girl people experiment with its all..."

Judging from the fierce look on Vanessa's face its the wrong description to lead with, the vet gently disentangles from the sleeping kitten rounds on Charity anger radiating from every movement. Its frankly a little frightening and she's tempted to use Rosie as a cute shield

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Whatever our relationship or your relationship with half the town is you are not just merely an experiment. You are smart, beautiful and amazing. Most of all you always count. Anybody you tells or makes you feel different is a short-sighted fool. You are a role model for surviving your past not demeaned because the choices you made to survive." Vanessa whisper- yells crowding into the taller woman's space.

Charity cannot form a response to such a passionate defence, but she reaches out and touches Vanessa's check.

"I'm sorry I'm used to having people in my corner in Emmerdale, especially tiny Amazons. I'll do better, but I think your version of the Gettysburg's Address you frightened the animal babies." Charity makes vague gestures to the other side of the room. Vanessa immediately shifts into vet mode and sinks down to sooth an uncertain Axel and Rosie, who are hiding behind the coach.

"We're ok guys. Charity is just foolish sometimes. You'll adjust to her ways soon enough. Now let's start with some house rules. You are both doing so well; the fur will grow back in no time." her chatter is light and breezy.

Charity wonders if the marks Vanessa has left on her heart will recover so quickly. The chances weren't high when crawling around on the floor with her, pet proofing the house is the best part of her week.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Spring III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So you want to buy her flowers and stuff?" Noah asks uncomfortable with the such a feminine topic. 
> 
> "Yes and not just discount ones from my sister's store" Vanessa confides with a shy smile "If you have any tips I'll be open to them, it's a little nerve-wracking asking someone on a date."
> 
> "She likes you too, don't stress."

  
Since I've been walking solo  
Dreaming you were back home  
I find getting down low  
Hide until tomorrow

Come back into the good life  
Lose these hazy love lies  
I've been chasing my mind  
Lonely in the cold nights

'Cause I'm kicking up stones without you  
Can't pick up the phone without you  
I'm a little bit lost without you  
Without you

Oh Wonder - Without You

"I go away for two weeks, and you shack up with Charity Dingle?"

Vanessa knew these questions were coming, but she had thought Tracey would at least take the time to shower her nephew with useless holiday trinkets first. Instead, the interrogation begins as soon as her younger sister is in the door. The trip has done wonders for her mood so has the prospect of developments in Vanessa’s love life. The only issue with Nessa's sexuality in Tracy opinion was how much of a boring homebody; her older sibling still seems; as if accepting a part of yourself is a cue for a personality change.

Tracy's tendency to interfere with her love life is one reason the town vet is grateful for the impromptu father-daughter trip to London. It takes some effort, and plenty of resentful tears but Frank and his two daughters are forming a tight bond as a little family of 4 with Johnny being the centre of their lives.

"Little ears!" Vanessa hisses softly.

The boy in question is home sick with a mild cold and slight fever which is enough to keep him home from nursery and his mother watching Pet Patrol on loop. Tracy wasn't due over until later in the evening, but clearly, the temptation to quiz her older sister is too much.

"Your son sleeps like the dead especially when he is on fever medication" Tracy argues in a marginally lower tone.

"I am not shacking up with Charity nor anybody else for that matter. She and the boys are adopting two very sick animals, and I'm helping with the adoption."

"Last time I checked pet adoption didn't require staying over every night for a fortnight and flirting over coffee during the school run."

"Darm small town mentality" Vanessa mutters to herself.

"The whole town knows, Ness. You may as well give you only sister the hot and heavy details, keeping the graphic lesbian stuff to a minimum please." Tracy sits down and beams expectantly as if she genuinely belives her sister to spill some passionate love story.

"Come on. We are talking about Charity Dingle here. I'm straight and can see the appeal. You are total lightweight, yet you are in the bar most nights drooling over her" Tracey hedges with a whine in her voice.

"There is nothing to tell Tracy. If there is a rating below G rated, that is what's going on here. The only thing that is hot is Charity's spicy hot chocolate. I'm in my 40s with a child. I'm beyond the drooling stage, sis" Vanessa protests weakly.

"Some very mature sophisticated swooning than?"

Vanessa wishes fiercely that there were details to share, she wants Charity with a hunger that is almost embarrassing to admit to herself much less anyone else. The nights at the Woolpack fill with an entirely different kind of intimacy. Charity slowly reveals what led to her being on the streets and her sorry excuse for a childhood. Her voice is steady when she tells the physical and psychological pain, but Charity cradles Rosie like a security blanket.

"We're not like that, Trace"

"But you want to get hot and heavy in the non hot chocolate way? Tracey asks with a conspiratorial smile.

"I'm human there are a few people immune to the Charity Dingle charm." Nessa allows

"How many of those admirers would willingly clean up kitten and puppy sick and teach maths to a surly teenager?" Tracey asks innocently.

"A vet and eternal science geek?" Vanessa guesses rhetorically.

"Someone who wants far more than a one night stand."

Vanessa cannot argue with that logic, so she stays silent.

  
***

Charity is on her doorstep.

This fact in and of itself isn't unusual nowadays. Between looking after the Dingle additions and their children, the two single parents have fallen into a cycle regular catches and division of parental labour. Charity works odd hours, but she can easily keep an eye on Johnny during her shift or tuck the boy in when Dr Woodfeild has a late call out. Vanessa takes on the often daunting task of keeping Noah on track with school work.

However, on this particular day, Nessa had texted to explain that Johnny was ill and she didn't want Moses to catch the bug. Neither of them will be popular at daycare if this virus spreads. She receives a string of sad Emjoi's in return that makes her smile.

"What are you doing here. Johnny and likely me a still contagious."

Indeed Vanessa feels spectacularly underdressed in her old London Veterinary School hoddie and track pants. Its possible there is spaghetti in her hair from a failed attempt to get Johnny to eat anything.

"I've had four kids, Babe. I'm immune to toddler germs."

"That's not how it works..."

"Look I'm not leaving. Moses is visiting Ross for the weekend but he made me promise to deliver the DVD of Paw Petrol to Johhny. A horse gets rescued from down a well, or so he tells me. It's thrilling and memorable in any event. The youngest Dingle is a harsh critic."

Vanessa obediently lets Charity come in taking the offerings with a bemused smile. The other woman looks beautiful as always even in casual clothes and sneakers. Nessa barely resists the urge to squeeze her hand as she passes but that will give her sister too much ammunition. As it is her sister is looking between them as if she is watching an absorbing movie.

"Hi Charity"

Charity blinks in surprise and waves at Vanessa's younger sister who she formed something of a kinship with during the messy devoice from David and the stigma of their past professions.

"Hey Tracy - did you leave London standing then?"

"I was travelling with my father there was more galleries than clubs."

"Megan's influence." Charity declares confidently

"Mummy" a sad voice calls from upstairs.

Vanessa shoves her shoulder playfully before moving to take the DVDs upstairs. Charity also selected some of Johnny's favourite (moderately healthy) snacks.

"I'll settle him and watch an episode or two. You stay here and spend time with your sister. Moses will want a full report anyway."

Vanessa can't help the smile that lights her face when Charity goes up the stairs to tend to her son.

"Yes, nothing to tell at all" Tracy whispers with a smirk of triumph.

***

"You know the whole town thinks we are picking out matching china, don't you?

As often happens they end up walking the familiar parameters of Emmerdale.

"Correction the whole town thinks I'm seducing their poor innocent vet and they are frantically trying to find a lovely girl for you who rescues endangered bats in Kenya or something."

Charity realises too late that this statement falls into the forbidden zone of self-mockery, but the fierce scowl on Vanessa's face makes the situation clear. It seems that improving her friend's self-esteem is the vet's goal in life. When one considers her start in life and the role model her father presented, Charity isn't as tortured as the other woman images. However, Vanessa insists that she stops making 'demeaning' comments. The tiny vet indeed spoiled and expects for others to see reason with enough persuasion. The bar owner keeps waiting to find the habit annoying but so far it's just cute.

" I'm not innocent nor is there is a path of virtue for you to lead me from."

Charity lends in and gives her shoulder an affectionate squeeze not caring that most of their neighbours are watching, wondering and whispering. The time with Vanessa is worth stirring up some more trouble. Besides this is the tamest trouble she has found herself in for decades. Irene and Vanessa are exchanging Lasagne recipes, and Ryan adds her on every social media platform. The closest things her other relationships came to family acceptance is the absence of outright hatred; it's nice not to see the vague disappointment from her foster mother.

"I'm not one of your patients with a broken wing or a cut paw. You don't need to tend my wounds either metaphorically or literally. I'm more of a willow tree bent and twisted but not broken. The willow tree grows strong and true even with the twists and bends."

"I like that metaphor, but all trees still need light and the right environment."

"I think of all sorts of allergies and words just for you. If I need light than it's a good thing I have you around, isn't it Buttercup? The tamer of ill-tempered and frightened beasts."

 

***

"Well a witch needs a cat, don't they? it is in all the books?"

Rosie is well enough to come down to the bar. Chas insists on expense travel bed thing that looks more comfortable than the furniture in her first thing apartments. The grey kitten is the source of much curiosity and speculation. In typical fashion, Charity announces the kitten is a Dingle now and expects the world to get on with things.

The comment is a bit of harmless fun from a regular who Charity gets on well with, it's easy for the bartender to distinguish between the truly cruel and general teasing. After all, she needs to expect a bit of payback for her years of hellraising and dry quips at others expense. If the Dingle families are champions at anything, it's looking after themselves and having thick skin.

However the same cannot be said for her self-appointed knight in a shiny raincoat, who probably would ride in on a white horse. Vanessa Woodfield has a zero-tolerance policy for jokes about Charity or references to her past Charity steps in before the other woman can rush heroically to her defence and cost the Woolpack another patron.

"Rosie is far better than anything that warms your bed, Stan."

The comeback hits the mark producing a round of laughter and agreement from his friends. The continue to drink and eat the expense platters that Mario insists on making sells will be good this month.

"Willow Tree" she breathes in Vanessa's ear as she passes by.

  
***

"You can't keep doing that you know."

Vanessa doesn't look up from the worksheets she is creating for Noah to help him with his maths homework. Charity privately thinks the tutelage is just an excuse for the smaller woman to break out her textbooks and deplete Emmerdale of its remaining stationary supplies.

Its bad enough there are medication and training schedules for Axel on every available surface, committing with Johnny and Moses's artwork. Somehow her apartment has become a shrine to Vanessa's love of efficiency and time management. Stranger things have happened but not recently.

"Do what?"

"Glower darkly at everybody who comments me or threatens to operate on a man that tells a crass yarn about my misspent your youth. In the pub, I am fair game for banter, Babe. Some of the guys did see me at my worst."

"I can't operate on humans that would be ethical and violate several important laws, more importantly, Perl would never forgive me, that woman is terrifying when she has a grudge," Vanessa says absently not looking up from the workbook.

"You also can't go around defending my honour like we are in a Miles and Boon's novel. For one thing, you will alienate half the town, and for another, you have chipmunks to rescue."

"Chipmunks are only found in North America except for the illegal pet trade which I will never support." Vanessa corrects as she carefully rules a line on the page.

"Can you stop doing algebra and look at me please?"

Vanessa does so reluctantly both because she is enjoying the mathematical challenge because she knows they are at an impasse when it comes to this conversation.

 

 

***

"I got a B+."

Noah Dingle is a master of the board tone as if the improved grade means nothing but Vanessa is slowly compiling a private Dingle Dictionary. The teenage is thrilled at his achievement and anxiously awaiting her reaction. Vanessa volunteers to drive him and his friend Toby to the movie theatre on the outskirts of town. There is a horror movie marathon showing and then the best friends are staying at Ryan's for the weekend.

"I am so proud of you. All that work you put in paid off. Huh? Worth the sacrifice of gaming time?

Noah shrugs noncommittedly and mutters "its cool once you understand things. Besides I have way more free time for gaming without detention." he does not.

"Fair point."

Vanessa feels the impulse, the conversation with Charity is still ringing in her eyes. This strange dynamic they have fallen into cannot last forever. She and Charity are friends for sure, but this simmering attraction between is going to lead to complications, she was sick with jealousy when watching people flirt with the taller woman.

It would be so easy to have a casual fling to meet this particular need; experience proves that be a glorious few nights. However Vanessa wants far more with Charity, she wants everything including the kids, troubled exs and poor communication skills. Strangely the sermon of famous clergyman echoes:

"Love is friendship set on fire."

"Hey, Noah can I ask you a question?"

Her passenger shrugs a shoulder his fingers flying over the screen.

"I like your mum."

Surprisingly Noah turns and gives her his full attention, a suddenly weary expression on his face. Vanessa wonders how many parental figures have come and gone from the Dingle children's lives. Privately she resolves to do things better.

"How would you feel about me asking her on a proper date? she asks cautiously trying not to hold her breath waiting for the answer.

"You don't need to ask my permission to hook up with my mum, nobody else does or talks to us at all. Do whatever you want, she'll be up for it” the words are angry and bitter as if she has hurt him in some way by not following the script.

Vanessa pulls over to the side of the road to give the teen her fall attention.

"Don't say things like that, you mum has made plenty of mistakes; she'd be the first to tell you this, but she is trying to do better now. You and your siblings are her world; nothing happens without your permission. I can't promise you things want to change or get chaotic from time to time but we will always be friends, and I'll continue tutoring you for as long as you want."

"Will you be having the same conversation with Debbie and Ryan?"

"Of course, Moses too but I think he is open to bribery with my fish fingers" Nessa jokes with a smile.

"Johnny is alright. Its nice for Moses to have a friend like I have with Ryan" Noah observes quietly.

"The both idolise you too, Noah Dingle."

"So you want to buy her flowers and stuff?" Noah asks uncomfortable with the such a feminine topic.

"Yes and not just discount ones from my sister's store" Vanessa confides with a shy smile "If you have any tips I'll be open to them, it's a little nerve-wracking asking someone on a date."

"She likes you too, don't stress."

  
***

"Noah forgot his biology textbook."

Inwardly Vanessa cringes at how flustered she sounds making the declaration. She should have waited until daylight proper before coming over. The clinic is opening extra early, and Vanessa knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate. In theory, seeing Charity is going to alleviate the nervous tension, but instead, her insides turn to water.

"Are you doing a side hustle as an academic saviour, Dr Woodfeild?"

Charity looks rumpled and sleepy leaning against the doorframe. Rosie is rubbing against her leg, and Axel is wagging his tail from his bed. The Lurcher is learning obedience with natural intellegce, but Nessa remains firm about greeting behaviour.

"Good Stay, Axel" she whispers encouragingly slipping instinctively into the training tone.

"As if he would dare disobey his tiny mistress" Charity jokes with a snort.

"Reinforcement doesn't hurt."

"You came here at 5:30 to hand over a book and check on your training methods?" Charity queries with a smile "It sounds like you but something tells me that's just a pretext or a bonus."

"Have dinner with me?

"A meal that doesn't involve our children or any four-legged creatures?" Charity teases her eyes dancing with pleasure.

"I can only guarantee the lack of children but yes a dinner like that."

"I do believe you are asking me on a date, Dr Woodfeild." Charity affects a posh accent.

"You always were a smart one, Miss Dingle."

Vanessa starts to feel nervous as the silence stretches between them, suddenly feeling hot even though the spring morning is noticbly cool. She doesn’t remember feeling this nervous during any of her exams.

“So I’m not up this early just for fun, I’ve got three cases of colic to investigate and a sick rabbit” Vanessa prompts

Instead of answering directly Charity pulls her early morning visitor into a soft kiss and a long emberce.

“Of course I will go out with you, you daft mare. I was going to ask you Aaron’s engagement party” Charity whispers in her

Vanessa sags in relief and briefly rests her head against the taller woman’s shoulder.

“That’s good to know and I’ll save the date for the engagement party now that I have escort”

They share a smile both at a loss for words and acutely aware that children are asleep upstairs.

In a strangely courtly gesture Nessa brushes a kiss against Charity’s temple before tuning to start her day anew.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Summer I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A first date and chew toys

But I've got plans to get to you  
You know, don't you know  
Gonna build a paper plane to float to you  
You know, don't you know

We'll be scraping the skies with out fingertips  
Screaming "This is the life, we were born for this"  
See I've got plans to get to you  
You know, don't you know  
Don't you know  
Don't you know  
Don't you know

Oh Wonder - Plans

People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of it.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.” Elizabeth Gilbert

Theoretically, Charity Dingle knows how to date.

If you listen to the gossip in Emmerdale and halfway to London Miss Dingle is second only to Cleopatra in seduction skills. Most of these exploits are exaggerated in the extreme or fueled by bitter ex-husbands or former stepchildren. Charity isn't ashamed to admit that she does enjoy the process of charming people, learning their weaknesses and maximising her appeal, becoming a (responsible) mother of four in her forties has only changed the tone of her outcome, not the approach.

A date and sort of official relationship with the town vet isn't that different, so why does it suddenly feel like reading for calculus and physics at Oxford?

Charity Dingle can say with absolute confidence that Vanessa Woodfield into this relationship, her tender expression isn't so different from the adorable animals she looks after, all big eyes and delight. It's surprising that the vet took so long to understand her sexuality, it was mean-spirited to crash her date with whatshisname, but it was a service at the same time. There is no reason for Charity to feel so nervous and intimated yet the feeling stubbornly persists throughout the day.

Surprisingly she credits Axel and Rosie with keeping her sane. It may be a big day in her, but they still need feeding, walking and attention. Sending Vanessa cute pictures is the perfect excuse to communicate.

  
"You are acting like a weirdo, did somebody slip you something at the bar?"

Charity is immensely proud of developing a relationship with her middle son. She still feels such guilt he treated him in the, but she relishes every smile between them. It is always disconcerting to hear his commentary about her dating as she moves nervously throughout the house.

"I am feeling pretty nervous about seeing Vanessa tonight, ok? I'm not exactly great at this stuff" Charity explains as she tries to choose between three dresses.

"Well yeah but Vanessa is much better to do whatever she says, and you'll be fine. She's cool. She practically lives here anyway" Noah keeps his tone carefully board and neutral but its more interest than he shows in any past relationships.

  
"Stop laughing at me, Irene."

Irene is sitting on the couch reading a story to Moses watching the proceedings with amusement. The youngest of her grandchildren were asleep two pages ago but she pretends to be studying the pages carefully least Charity uses her as an excuse to get even more nervous. There is a detailed list with instructions for looking after all members of the household, the domesticity from the formally wayward child is heartening.

" I just love seeing you happy is all, Sweetheart."

Charity pauses briefly to kiss her foster mother and son, knowing what the other woman isn't saying. The greater triumph is seeing her making decent choices for her family and becoming invested in a healthy relationship that has a chance at lasting with Irene picking up the pieces.

Ryan is already joking about needing a translation to make the 'best man' speech even if it's not a formal wedding ceremony.

Irene wonders (and privately hopes) hopes she will need to add to more jumpers to her Christmas knitting pile.

  
***

"No - let's eliminate everything on the pastel side of the spectrum right now, shall we?

Vanessa loves her sister dearly and in general enjoys the younger woman's enthusiasm and outlook on life, but there were limits. Tracy is young enough that their styles and comfort levels with makeup are entirely different. Minimal adornment is a job requirement, and Vanessa never got into the habit of doing anything else in her off time. Besides once you start sharing parenting duties of 5 children and few grandchildren glamour isn't high on the priority list.

Tracy is adjusting to living with her sister and dealing with her past mistakes and devoice misdeeds, but she is still highly sensitive at times. Somehow helping Vanessa get ready for this date and offering her expertise becomes vitally important.

Their stalemate over the colour spectrum is doing into a bizarre referendum on their relationship as if Vanessa wasn't nervous enough. She watches with a helpless feeling as her sister stalks into the other room to find another section of blushes.

"May I help?"

Megan is here to pick up supplies for Johnny and Eliza who are about to have a playdate. She is still hesitant around her boyfriend's daughters, but to her credit, she keeps turning but and taking an active role in joint family occasions including makeup debates. The woman was mainly things, but she knows how to flatter her complexion.

"Plese..."

The older woman quickly and efficiently suggests ways she can blend Tracy's supplies into a more neutral pattern and crucially allow Tracy the chance to apply it. Megan shyly offers to do her hair and take over the lion's share of the conversation with the more style-focused family member.

For the next hour or so Vanessa becomes an almost willing test subject and doesn't even try and other an opinion on lipstick shades. It's practically as if they are speaking an entirely different language complete with shorthand and jargon. Tracy is beaming by the time she is permitted to look at the final result, which makes the minor humiliations of eyelash curling worth it.

Vanessa shuts down the idle speculation about being with a woman, and how talented Charity is in bed, her flaming checks will destroy the look.

 

  
***

In a move that is so quintessentially Vanessa that it shocks Charity out of her nervousness, the vet turns up with chew toys instead of flowers and is wearing comfortable flat shoes under a lovely green dress and complicated hairstyle.

"Why, Dr Woodfeild I didn't think we were at the stage of needing props on our date...not that I'm not open to the idea of course." Charity teases after she manages to get the laughter under control.

"Hush you- it's for Axel in case he takes a liking to any more of your furniture while we are away. The supplier just brought these in today - extra strong for bigger dogs" Vanessa places a gentle kiss on Charity's check as she passed as if this is their 40th date and not their first time going out officially.

"You look lovely tonight - managed to wrestle Tracy for control of your makeup did you?" Charity asks with a smile.

"More or less - she did have firm opinions on accessories though as if dating has changed fundamentally in the three years since Johnny came along."

Charity wraps her arms around Vanessa, careful not to mess up all the hard work before whispering in her ear.

"Thank you for fighting tooth, nail and the occasional claw to get us here. I know I was draft about things and needed my kids and new baby animals to provide a wake-up call."

 

  
***

They pick a restaurant that is as far away from the village as possible why still being reachable for children or animal emergencies. To the best of her knowledge Charity isn't related to a single patron in here or a member of the staff, which was the main appeal. The place is a step up from their usual meals together but the items on the menu are still in recognisable food groups, and the prices won't break the bank. Vanessa is close to swooning over the section of seafood.

"You asked my children for permission to ask out their mother?" Charity asks after the waiter takes their drink order.

"Of course, your kids are older than Johnny they need to have a say in who wants to enter the picture for any length of time - it doesn't matter that I know the boys well enough and Debbie just wants you to be happy without details" Vanessa replies with a shrug.

The matter of fact way the other woman states her reasoning doesn't detract from how touching the gesture feels. Even for Charity's friends without disastrous histories struggle to date with kids. Always her defender Irene claims that her foster daughter just needed to find the right person to shine as a partner but Charity is still in awe at having this chance.

"How are you not married to a beautiful human rights lawyer named Darcy running a Chinchilla Sanctuary and singing to sad cows?" is the question she manages to blurt out in genuine curiosity.

"Oddly specific question there but the answer is the same- time."

Vanessa nibbles on a breadstick before continuing her gaze never leaving Charity's face.

"I was a scrappy kid who loved science without the means to fund my dream of being a vet. There were scholarships but those were fiercely competitive and so studying or working took up the time usually dedicated to relationships and romantic entanglements. Some of my friends gave up their dreams when the 'right person' came along. I wasn't going to be another statistic until grad school. Hence my unplanned pregnancy and later in life sexuality freakout that gave you such amusement for months." Vanessa finishes drily.

Charity winces at that waiting until the mains arrive before attempting a reply.

"I was a total bitch to you."

"Absolutely but in your unique way, you were only one who wasn't treating me like a fragile flower in need of protection. I spent my days trying to come up with the perfect comeback before setting foot in your bar."

"The thing with your Dad and Megan went too far though. Frank isn't a bad guy, and for whatever reason, she does it for him or possibly Eliza. I'm the last person to judge falling for an unlikely match" Charity says ruefully.

"Aren't first dates supposed to involve favourite colours and movies?"

They laugh and take turn sampling each other's plates, playfully arguing over spices. The conversation quickly flows into lighter topics including plans for the summer and enrolling Axel in obedience classes. By the time a shared dessert arrives. Charity is in fits of laughter over Vanessa's many adventures in veterinary school.

 

***

Charity is unsure of the etiquette at the end of the date.

One of Vanessa's biggest irritations with this town and Charity, in particular, is that they view her as soft and in need of care, this belief is mostly a perceived status, but there is some truth when applied to their burgeoning relationship. Making the vet happy and not following into old patterns is a mantra that the bartender repeats for months ever since they snog in the cellar. Unfortunately, a seducation routine is her only reference point for most first dates not standing at her door searching for a legitimate excuse to invite the other woman up.

"Can I come up for a brew? I want to check on Axel's teeth, its possible he's binging on food, which can irritate gums." Vanessa says casually taking the choice out of Charity's hands with a neat sidestep.

"We need to work on your lines, Ness."

"It got me past the door while you were trying to compose a scene out of The Notebook, didn't it?" Vanessa argues as she moves with ease around the apartment fetching the requested tea herself and directing Axel back to his blanket.

"I'm a special case."

"I knew that from the first time we met"

Of course, Dr Vanessa Elizabeth Woodfield is true to her word, wanting to check on the puppy isn't a pretext. The shorter blond knees down beside his bed and tolerates his enthusiastic greeting for a few minutes before gently disentangling his long limbs from her date night dress.

"Do all your first dates end up with rangling enthusiastic animals? Charity quips as she carries Rosie over to the coach feeling instantly more relaxed and the familiar scene but also strangely sad that her efforts ended in the same place as every other night.

"Only the particularly good ones or the bad ones. My job is an excellent excuse to leave before the first course" Vanessa quips with a grin.

"Some nights can be special you know first dates with charming businesswoman for instance?" Charity offers to wince as Vanessa lends close to very sharp teeth

Vanessa catches something in her tone and looks up sheepishly.

"Of course its exceptional Charity I just thought that it would take the pressure off since never of us are that experienced at the first date thing, and truthfully I would have stayed up all night worrying about his digestive health."

Charity barely resists the urge to blurt out something overly emotional or intense. The last thing either of them needs is to become a lesbian cliche of high emotion and drama, not when there are kids to consider. She does allow herself a happy smile as Vanessa comes to join her on the couch curling to the taller woman's side and coo at Rosie.

"The way I figure it we are in our 40s, there isn't any doubt we are going to have more dates, we like each other and want to get to know each other. Heck, Johnny genuinely thinks Moses is his brother and Noah, and Ryan hung the stars" Vanessa continues "You don't need to recreate romance novels for things to be special, I promise."

"Plenty of brews of midnight tea in our future, huh?"

"Entire plantations full." Vanessa confirms.

"Well, the majority of my family members be delighted to hear that."

Something that is unique to her relationship with Vanessa is that there is no judgement from Chas, Irene or the kids. In different ways, the Dingles and Stacks are championing this romance not cautioning her or getting resentful ay yet another mistake on the heal of many.

"Then half the battle is won."

  
The kiss they share is passionate, but Vanessa does not let it escalate beyond touching, preferring to snuggle and chat sleepily. For the first time in a long while Charity doesn't feel intense pressure to assert a claim or prove her worth as a lover. There aren't metaphorical clock counting down their time together or chances; mistakes are ok.

 

 


	5. Summer II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The progression of relationship in all forms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the slight delay - I'm still writing this story with enthusiasm.

  
I'm feeling unsteady, a little off-balance  
I got a few more vice than good habits  
See I been lookin' for a quick fix

Relief from the tension  
But two wrongs don't make a right way to get it

I'm losing patience fast  
Treating the symptoms when the sickness always comes back  
It's like I'm stuck in between the cure and the disease  
I can't leave, but I can't stay  
Everything's different - nothing's changed

I got a broken record with a lot of scratches  
I keep on playing it to stay distracted  
Cuz when I lift the needle, I can't bear the silence  
And I'm starting to think I'm better off in the static  
Aman Jay - Everything's Different, Nothing's Changed

 

***

Charity Dingle loves to learn.

An aptitude for retaining information is one of the first things her new foster mother realised when sifting through the wreckage that was Charity's school record. The family are firm believers in education and natured that spark with love and encouragement. Over the years Charity did numerous night classes and surprised the prison tutors by racing through every course available.

Therefore Charity Dingle is determined to master dog obedience class and the fundamentals of cat ownership or cat host as the case may be. Two things make the early Sunday mornings bearable. Noah voluntarily signs up with his mother and never complains when the alarm goes off. Vanessa looks so proud of them both that the adoration tempts her to sign up for agility training and courses even though it is held on a farm neighbouring Moira and Kane.

Axel is great to train, despite his start and Vanessa's worries about aggressive tendencies. The gangly dog picks up commands almost instantly and looks for direction from Charity. The woman taking the class believes that he is young enough to relearn his bad habits and will respond well to the business of the Woolpack and long runs in the surrounding countryside. They watch for signs of anxiousness, but he treats the younger boys like playmates and Rosie with polite disinterest. He is resilient to the core and greets life with great abandon.

As she watches, Noah diligently run through the Sit/Stay drills Charity reflects that this dog is a metaphor for them both, strays with a rough start but alright once people took the time to see beyond the surface. She won't share this observation; it will only make Vanessa sad and angry. The comparison makes her prideful rather than ashamed. Their little unit might have escaped the Dingle family curse after all.

"I think Ax could still run for miles - want to go for a walk before you buy me pancakes?" Noah asks cheerfully as he jogs to her side. He spends time after class talking to a classmate who owns a husky and shares a passion for heavy metal.

Maybe Charity won't be the only member of the family using a cute dog to sore a date?

"Just as long as you do all the running with the canine version of Usain Bolt and eat enough veggies to keep Vanessa and Irene happy" Charity agrees readily.

"Course - Vanessa is almost as good as grandma, and Ryan is bringing his lava cake for dessert" Noah agrees before jogging ahead to the car.

Irene Stocks always had faith that her children, Noah in particular, would reform their relationship with her despite mistakes. The former nurse-midwife refused to let Charity admit defeat even one most people around them were labelling her just another lost cause too selfish to raise kids right. For the sake of the older woman's devotion the former street never gave up entirely, but it isn't till moments of casual acceptance like this that Charity truly believes that not all mistakes are irredeemable.

 

  
***

They are learning to communicate both as individuals and as a couple.

Charity Dingle, as a rule, doesn't communicate; especially anything that involves feelings and vulnerability. Irene Stacks works wonders in softening the street edge, but some survival instincts remain firmly in place, especially after prison. However, making it work with Vanessa is worth changing these behaviours.

Maybe that is the definition of a great relationship not how much you love the person but how willing you are to confront your issues and vulnerabilities to make yourself and your relationship healthy.

This mantra is what the barkeep tells herself when she reluctantly agrees to attend family counselling. The process is painfully similar to the compulsory sessions of her youth, one she was trying to raise and disabled son and get her life together. There is the same expectation of sharing feelings and using far too many verbs and adjectives. Charity Dingle isn't that same angry kid, and that is partially down to Irene and a team of therapists giving a dam, a therapist helps convince a judge to return Noah to her.

Irene now has a standing date with all three boys so that their mothers can attend counselling sessions. In all honesty, Vanessa is coming primarily to support her girlfriend after the pain of the Bails trial and Sarah's illness. Just having her closer lets Charity think more clearly and resist the urge to bolt. She has the feeling that this lovely woman would go to every one of her therapy sessions to support a friend had they remained in the land of denial.

It helps, if only marginally, that the family practice counseller is as calm as they came and blatantly ignores Charity's sarcasm and subconscious efforts to shock him.

"Were you under the assumption that I require a certain level of self-destruction to fit you in, Charity? Textbooks on the topic were written long before the Dingles and their unique take on the topic". after they spent 40 minutes listing the towns dramas and how they relate to the Dingles.

"Right - my father Obadiah Dingle was mean, drunk, a serial husband who didn't like me very much. Except for Ness, most of my previous relationships followed the same pattern - complete with estrangement from my offspring. I have next to no functional communication skills. Is that what you wanted to hear, Dr Fraud?"

"Charity..." Vanessa warns stocking her back comfortingly.

"While we are venturing closer to my area of expertise you don't give yourself enough credit. There is nothing or nobody forcing you to come here, these sessions aren't mandated by any court nor will be any reports" Doug argues lightly.

  
However you measure these things Doug is satisfied with their progress and compliments Charity on taking the exercises to heart, he knows instinctively that Vanessa needs no encouragement to do homework.

Doug has a photo of his daughters and their kittens on his desk, which doesn't hurt the equation either.

  
***

  
They are learning to co-parent together officially.

Nothing demonstrates this more when Johnny starts asking questions about family structures and starts baring an uncanny resemblance to his biological father. It doesn't take long for the village to begin talking and speculating about DNA and legacy. Its a painful time for Vanessa who is (needlessly in Charity's opinion) still feeling conflicted about how she came out amid such drama. Her sins are mild by Emmerdale standards, but the vet still winces every time a sly comment reaches them.

  
Nobody whispers about Johnny Boy and Vanessa on her watch if only a set enemy exists to fight.

Vanessa manifests her pain by going on increasingly longer walks with Axel. Its possible the young lercher is going to have a future as a canine athlete at this rate. Similarly, they may have stumbled into a lesbian cliche - these animals occupy almost as much time as Noah, Moses and Johnny boy.

Heck, she spends her lunch break on cat and dog facebook groups comparing tips on supporting rescue animals. Rosie is her constant companion in crosswords and tv watching.

The kitten is doing an admirable job of distracting Vanessa as she worries - making playful attempts to catch her shoelaces and generally look adorable.

  
"What if the Kotechas suddenly want involvement in his life? There was such a drama when he was born. Are we going to have upheaval just as things settle with us?

The insecurity in the questions makes Charity want to battle all her girlfriend's nightmares as quickly as she did for Moses and Ryan.

"Kirin is still on the lamb more or less. Rakesh and the others have bigger things to worry about than the gossips making the biological connection they didn't want" Charity reasons gently wincing at even making that passing reference to such terms of Johnny.

"People can change their minds especially when resemblances start taking shape, even if they loathed our relationship and my role as a Mrs Robinson temptress," Vanessa argues.

"Rakesh would rather die than bring further scandal onto the family. Don't assume that just because people are talking that it's going to leave to concrete action. Johnny is happy and healthy with us, and the Kotechas have their faults but this isn't fighting they won't just for the sake of staking a claim. While we are at it - quit casting yourself as a criminal - he was young but not underage."

" But..."

"but nothing - you are a smashing mum if we need to fight we will. Johnny is three the biggest drama in his life is access to Pet Patrol and if his mommy is happy and well enough to make fish fingers. He is a Woodfield down to his very controlling and demanding soul. I'll do some recon at the Woolpack if you like, nobody can resist talking when Rosie is around, but another scandal will break soon."

***

They are learning to inhabit a different identity.

Charity Dingle has inhabited many identities in her life, including being openly bisexual but truthfully but then this characteristic was more about equal opportunity seduction rather than any earnest considerations for self-identity like Aaron went through. Vanessa Woodfield was meant to be a one night stand and conquest. However, now that she cares deeply about the relationship Charity notices allot more, from the disapproving looks to the occasional comments just out of direct hearing. Nobody says anything in their inner circle, but they can't stay in Emmerdale forever.

Charity finds herself following the LGBT campaigns in Irland and the heartening scenes about people flying home to cast favourable votes.

She feels a wave of fury when reading articles about the torment of some young people. Charity left before her father or parade of stepmothers could add that to her list of sins. In the name of the child, she was the barkeep makes a monthly donation to an organisation working with homeless youth.

Surprising Noah copes with the occasional comment about having 'two mums". Ryan delights in teaching his younger brother witty comebacks and rejoinders. Vanessa is horrified, but after a quiet word to the teacher, Charity confirms that the school is disciplining the boys in question. Somehow she *stays* in the role of a calm parent who doesn't go into battle at the slightest provocation.

The younger boys adapt quickly to their roles and mainly consider their two mothers interchangeable when it comes to the essential things in life such as getting snacks ready, cuddles and story time. The toddlers don't seek or require labels but when they do Charity feels confident in their ability to adapt and cope with the origin story.

  
***

They are learning to date as women in their 40s with children.

Vanessa Woodfield makes this process surprisingly easy if daunting at times. A small part of Charity fears that adoring this family-focused will woman will force her to wear matching jumpers and Christmas Cards like the people she mocks mercilessly for the majority of her life.

Of course, it is foolish to think that a spitfire like Vanessa would behave in such a predictable and pedestrian way. They spend more a few romantic weekends away that would make the books on the topics seem tame. Intimacy enhances rather than lessen the excitement. It's a new experience going to the clubs just for a drink with friends and dance with the same person who will exercise her dog in the morning.

However, there are distinct differences to dating someone when you have children and significant responsibilities. The world of bills, breakfast and school runs doesn't stop just because you've found someone who makes you genuinely happy.

Dating looks different and often includes any combination of children or grandchildren tagging along. Alone is a relative term and to Charity's surprise, she enjoys her time with the boys and Debbie almost as much. Sometimes the most romantic thing that happens during that day is an excellently made tea and listening ear.

Scheduling becomes an exercise in organised chaos between two toddlers, a teenager, two adult children and businesses to run — charity marvels at how fun it can be to direct a gaggle of children through a house designed for half the number. Ryan takes credit for her ability to remember so many timetables, referring to his rounds of hospital visits and treatments.

Charity has an ambiguous relationship with her family, everybody branch of the maze that is the Dingle Family Tree. The Stocks are the closest thing she has to a functioning, parental relationship. However, being with Vanessa helps ease her resentments and rage. Debbie remarks that things between her and Kane are calmer while Noah comments on her lack of 'mood swings'. Vanessa is almost like the better angel of her nature, each time she thinks about stirring trouble with Frank and Megan or anyone else, the image of Vanessa's wounded puppy looks stops her.

This restraint extends to half enjoying a birthday party at Kane and Moira's place even though the farm is still as wretched as ever. Maybe the jokes about Vanessa's proficiency at witchcraft have some merit. Indeed, she never expects to be swooning over a woman spends the whole party talking about cow breeding lines and best practices for early calves.

"You are sexy when you talk about rescuing baby animals" Charity whispers in her ears as they prepare to leave.

"Its all part of my elaborate plan to get you naked, complete with discussion of weaning and hyperlactation."

"You had me at ways to dissolve tar from kittens and puppies." Charity confesses truthfully

"Oh, I know. Axel honestly could have slept through the night after the first weak or so, lung function and all " Vanessa sounds smug.

"Temptress..."

The flirting that doesn't necessarily lead anywhere is a new development more than likely the evening will be spent with Rosie and the boys before an early start in the morning. The anticipation doesn't make the teasing any less enjoyable. Besides she plans to take the vet away for her birthday which will make up for delayed gratification.

 

  
***

They are learning that blazing fights aren't the end of the world.

Charity counts herself fortunate that she and Ryan got a second chance at a comfortable life the Irene and family, but many therapists have attested to the less than ideal Dingle foundations. Her native language is spit and grit, husbands and children were little more than sparring partners. Relationships were testing grounds for survival skills and coping strategies.

Charity can practically feel abandonment issues on her shoulders every time they bicker over bills, parenting or even one memorable case, biscuits. However, underline any of her previous relationships, Vanessa proves steadfast in her determination to make this work and accept Charity wholeheartedly.

It takes several fights before that sick feeling in her gut starts to lessen with every apologies and cup of tea.

Dr Vanessa Elizabeth Woodfield is also stubborn, opinionated and impulsive. The petite vet contributes to her fair share of disagreements, especially if she feels mislead or subject to mollycoddling.

"You lied to me about my little sister considering life-altering surgery, how could you?

Charity winces at both the volume of Vanessa's question and the look of genuine hurt on her face. The shorter woman is headiness that they are in full view of the Woolpack before what constitutes as rush hour. Chas is giving the other woman a disdainful look from the backroom, but her cousin shoos them to the cellar.

"Babe, I don't think this is the place, yeah?"

Vanessa resists the urge to make a comment on happy memories and offer a stiff drink. Her girlfriend is pacing the convined space, alternating between glaring at her and muttering furiously.

She knows from experience that debates to do with Frank's daughters are not going to resolve quickly. Vanessa works hard to make up the tensions of the past and the sins of the father (the toy dispute) however the bond is still fragile. Charity privately thinks that the former prostitute is slightly in awe of the older sister who overcame a rough start and a criminal father. Ness, in turn, struggles with their fundamental differences and the age gap.

"Tracy was looking into medical tourism to get her tubes tied and a raft of cosmetic procedures by some barely qualified butcher? Using her savings from 'writing' and limited equity in the store" the tone is boarding on shrill.

"She wasn't serious, Ness. Tracey was feeling down about David and how distraught he is not to mention his family. It's just an impulsive reaction to feeling ashamed. Plenty of women go over the knife for similar reasons" Charity begins gently.

"Don't make light of the situation, Charity Dingle."

"I'm not saying to be a bitch, merely saying that I understand where she is coming from, hello, you are taking to the queen of bad decisions and desperate moves here" Charity corrects firmly.

The statement seems to have the desired effect and drains Vanessa of all her anger, guilt and spite. She turns at fiercely embraces her girlfriend, with a swift apology.

"I'm lashing out at the wrong person, aren't I?

"No, not at all. I can take a little banter; it's practically our foreplay — a better target than your insecure baby sister who is spending her nights weeping over bad romantic comedies and consuming the town's supply of rocky road ice cream" Charity jokes as she pulls the other towards the couch.

"We are in a relationship, Ness. It took me long enough to get my act, but this means dealing with family stuff. Tracy feels we can talk because I made many of the same mistakes and came out the other side. I'm not as wise as she thinks, but nothing much shocks me. I promise if this draft plan went any further we would be staging an intervention together complete with Noah finding the grossest surgery mishaps on Youtube."

"My cousin is a plastic surgeon - I'll get him to fax over some horror stories aa backup."

Maybe they are getting good at this communication thing after all.

 

 

 

 


	6. Autum I

So when you're caught in a landslide  
I'll be there for you, I'll be there for you  
And in the rain, give you sunshine  
I'll be there for you, I'll be there for you  
And every time that you're lonely

Every time that you're feeling low, you should know  
I'll be there for you, I'll be there for you  
I'll be there for you, you know  
Oh Wonder - Landslide

"We have danced this dance before Charity."

Dr Sydney Parker is one of the few people Charity Dingle attempts to moderate her snark and defensiveness with, but this particular treatment took a long time to develop. He becomes her psychiatrist just after Moses was born and the pain of the past mistakes led to old demons coming into play.

At best Charity has a hit and miss relationship with professional help, but Dr Parker is astute enough not to fall for her tricks and kind enough not to drive too profoundly into 'before'. All in all, they have a good relationship, and they are learning how to develop goals for both medication and talking.

" Ryan broke his ankle, and I stood there helplessly. If Irene and Vanessa weren't there, it had the potential to be so much worse. As it is it's his bloody stronger leg."

"Don't you dare ask me how I'm feeling" Charity scows

"What do you want from me during our session?" Sydney asks instead

"A shot of vodka with a Xanax chaser?" she jokes with a shrug.

"Aside from the 15 ways that wouldn't be good for you - I don't prescribe that class or type of medication without a long and exhaustive search for other options. There is a reason it has such a high street value. Sorry, Miss Dingle, you are making far too much progress in the old fashion way."

"The one time I'm a star pupil, huh?"

  
***

The accident is nobody's fault, but that matters little in the eyes of a brother and a mother.

Ryan is rarely conscious of his disability and growing up with young mum meant that he become self-sufficient early, as a consequence his sister and brothers rarely notice the differences or make allowances for potential hazards. On that day the oversight includes Noah baiting Ryan into a game of tug and war on a family day out to the park.

One of the things Charity enjoys about this new relationship is that Vanessa insists that

Since Axel has come into their lives, the Dingles become the type of family unit that spends time outdoors and enjoys picnics - Charity doesn't mind but protests to Vanessa for appearance sake. Vanessa all but beams as she makes sandwiches and dips platters.

"You know I survived 40 years or so without this regime of compulsory sunshine and grass, Daisy May. Englanders are used to perpetual darkness and all that."

"I've seen your adult diet - Irene and Moses are the sole reason you aren't a crisp addict" Vanessa corrects with a fond smile.

"Now you have me dreaming of carrot sticks and hummus. Babe"

"I'm not doing my job if that's the only thing you are dreaming about."

  
***

Nobody is paying attention to fight until they hear both known and Ryan cry out. All the out present can tell the difference between a cry of excitement and genuine panic. By the time they race under the tree with Johnny and Moses in the double stroller, the taller brother is panting and pale.

There can be little doubt that somebody has either torn or broken from how pale Ryan becomes and the distinctive sounds or ripping or poping as he lands. Charity and Noah freeze, the teenager, still holding the other end of the rope with tears in his eyes.

"He told me to do it - we were joking about how much I suck in PE class" Noah crises with flush checks and ringing hands.

"Hush Noah - take Axel for us - he is frightened too. Nobody is blaming you."

Truthfully the puppy is taking the role of calming the boy, leaning against him and whining softy between licks. Vanessa is grateful he is shaping to be a well trained rural dog and has a good heal and stay command.

Vanessa and Irene are the heroes of the hour; everyone is a blubbering mess.

  
Irene and Vanessa are seemingly in motion before Ryan hits the ground. Both have an excellent working knowledge of first aid and handling intense situations. Irene keeps up a running stream of commentary and distraction as Vanessa starts to examine his right ankle which bends at an unnatural angle. Fortunately, Ryan prefers shoes that slip off easily so removing doesn't cause any more pain.

"Oh Babe..." Charity moans looking almost as pale and sounding like she is struggling not to throw up as reaches for his hand.

"Charity grab me some ice from the bin and run for my medical kit in the car. We will call an ambulance as a precaution because we can't carry him easily. GO! Throw up later." the bark is sharp and authoritative.

"I think you've done the ankle again - Ryan. Try not to move too much - your grandmother is holding your hand - she's former a midwife her hands are iron" Vanessa sooth as she tries to find the main joints and pulse points.

"Shit - and I was beating Noah too."

"Well you can still show your processes at the video games you love so much" Irene disagrees kissing his sweaty forehead.

"Don't let mum lose her mind, okay?"

"No promises but we will do our best," Irene says with a soft laugh

Charity loves to tease Vanessa about her many work jackets, but they are useful to store useful knick-knacks. She feels a quick flash of triumph when she fishes out an ace bandage. There is also a bottle of generic painkillers and a few extra towels.

  
***

Spending time in the hospital never gets any easier.

Charity was a wreck of a teenage runaway when Ryan was first born, but she did understand the seriousness of his breathing difficulties and the medical babble. The Sachs don't attend all the appointments alone, and they are a team of three in parenting.

"Sit down Mum, the drugs are great and you know we will be in for a long wait."

"He's right," Vanessa says calmly as she continues to knit a sweater for Johnny.

Irene is taking the younger children and Noah out for ice cream - trying to ease the teenager guilt. Noah has a special bond with his grandmother steaming from Charity's time in prison and the string of bad relationship decisions. RIght his mother has more faith in Irene's ability than her own.   
Vanessa staying wasn't even up for discussion.

"They better not treat you like a toddler" Charity hisses.

"The training is getting better and do you honestly doubt your oldest son's ability to put a junior doctor in their place?" Vanessa gives her a steely look before patting the uncomfortable chair next to her.

"Can you swipe her some medication?" Ryan stage whispers

"If I wasn't still on probation I might " Vanessa quips.

"All right you too - I know when I am defeated" Charity flops heavily flipping through old magazines.

It turns out that there is no need for the aggravation. The young doctor is unfailingly polite and respectful to Ryan. He explains that true to form the young muscian, and Metalica enthusiast has rolled his ankle. Gravity is rarely his friend, and the twist and break are complicated. He will need to wear a cast and moon boot before doing weeks of PT and rehab.

 

***

  
"Here hold the kitten."

"You should warn me when you want to talk dirty."

Vanessa doesn't dignify the retort with a response but merely hands Rosie over; Charity instinctively repositions herself to become a living climbing frame. Calling Rosie a kitten won't apply for much longer as she is growing well and Vanessa is happy with her progress; she is even more thrilled with how joyful the cat makes her new lover.

"Is handing me, Rosie, your elaborate plan every time I am down?"

"Well, it's the only plan I'm willing to talk about with our children due to home any minute."

Charity wants to make a snarky come back but the whole week was far too draining, and their routine is only getting busier now that it includes physiotherapy routines, driving Ryan and convincing Noah that it's not his fault- he channels his guilt into producing heavy mental playlists and YouTube suggestions. Charity finds it far easier to offer comfort to him than Vanessa does to her girlfriend.

"Ryan will be fine and doesn't plan anyone in the slightest - please stop tormenting yourself like this, love" Vanessa tries again for what feels like the 100th time.

"Why did I freeze like that? it's not he hasn't fallen before."

"A) He is in his 20s and doesn't bounce back quickly. B) very few special needs parents aren't overprotective when their kids get hurt. Rhonda is a wreck for Leo and his education."

"I should be nicer to her at some stage - now that I have you."

Vanessa wants to continue the banter, but Charity starts to breathe evenly falling into a light sleep. She is working hard in the bar and is tosing late at night before texting Ryan obsessively even though he takes the reduction in mobility well.

"Shhhhh"

Irene walks in with the boys and several shopping bags. Thankfully Noah is too focused on his phone to make too much noise, and Johnny is half asleep.

  
***

"You did the right thing coming to see me."

"What was your first clue? Me sobbing my heart out in the waiting room, using half a box of tissues?"

"Tissues are part of the process and a vast improvement on you not speaking to me for 45 minutes. Expressing any emotion is better than trying not to feel; you know this now."

"That look of pain on his face took me straight back the surgeries and accidents; I was just as useless then - not able to help to the pain away. What kind of mother am I?"

"A mother under pressure in unique circumstances. Ryan's condition is not your fault or responsibility and its beyond your control, then and now. Over the years you did the hard yards on the things that were changeable such as being a consistent parent and learning different strategies for managing your frustration, Noah, Debbie and the grandkids are proof of that."

"My girlfriend says the same thing over and over again."

"Vanessa seems like a woman worth listening to."

"She is a tiny little sunshine General" Charity agrees with a tender smile.

Charity feels herself beginning to relax as they talk through the situation and her emotional response to seeing her son in pain. Sydney offers to write a script, but the barkeep knows herself well enough to know that chemical dependency is a dangerous path. Besides snuggling with Vanessa with a strong cup of tea is far better therapy.

Charity doesn't feel better when they finish the session, but the vice guilt feels less crushing.

She knew she loved Vanessa Woodfield long before they got their act together into a proper relationship. The vet hung in there longer than any anyone else except Irene. Still, the mother of four feels her heart constrict when she sees the smaller woman sitting calmly in the waiting room knitting that jumper.

"Ready to grab a bite? Naturally, I have takeaway requests from the kids."

"Yeah sure," Charity says swallowing hard against sudden tears. "Sorry for being such a moody bitch these last few days."

"Pretty sure I knew what I was getting into from the last Charity Dingle - mood swings, and all" Vanessa shrugs as she packs up the supplies.

"Mmmm I don't know about that, but you make god awful tea, so I won't nominate you for sainthood just yet."

 

 

 

 


	7. Autum II

  
Seen my share of  
Broken halos  
Folded wings that used to fly  
They've all gone  
Wherever they go  
Broken halos that used to shine  
Broken halos that used to shine

Don't go looking  
For the reasons  
Don't go asking  
Broken Halos Chris Stapleton

"You are going to London with Vanessa."

Frank Clayton's children are bossy and demanding by nature, and Charity Dingle is often their favourite target. For the most part, the barkeep doesn't mind the attention from the local vet, but her relationship with Tracy is still on fragile ground. The younger sister is still struggling with her place in their strange and tangled family tree, but she adores Vanessa and Johnny, which earns her plenty of points in Charity's book. Still its mildly irritating to face her when all Charity wants to do is relax with a crossword, wine and Rosie the kitten in her lap. She sounds like a stereotype for wholesome small town living, but you couldn't be a wild child forever.

"Why am I doing such a thing? She is making a flying trip to talk about animal welfare."

Tracey grabs her pencil out of Charity's finger and glares with a combination of frustration and disbelief as she waves a paper in front of the taller woman.

"She is giving an address on animal cruelty that may even lead to a change in the law. Of course, she wants you there; she won't tell you that" Tracy whacks her with the document in question.

Rosie looks put out by the movement and stalks off to find a better perch and attention. Charity closes her book before giving Tracy her full attention already mentally rearranging her schedule to fit in this new development.

"Ryan's therapy...."

"I am playing his personal Uber Service complete with full access to my iPhone heaven help my ears." Tracy cuts her off

"The kids..."

"Irene is already coming down to stay, and she is in charge of all things homework, meal prep and bedtime."

"My shift..."

"You owe Chas several stocktakes, but she is covering for you."

Tracy advances on her counting of objections on her fingers; she even offers to take Axel to his puppy classes and for his daily walks. Charity draws the line at receiving hourly updates about the pets or vet reports from Rhonda or Patrick. Her life is changing but not enough to rate turning into a crazy fur baby couple.

Charity impulsively hugs the younger woman before racing to the climb the stairs to pack. There is a small bag already on the bed with a selection of outfits ready to go, Rosie is curled up on her jeans and glares balefully when Charity moves to disturb her nap. The idea of surprising Vanessa at the train station is too tempting to pass up, even a control freak like her girlfriend makes the occasional exception.

 

***

"You are sweet to let Tracy badger you into coming along, its a local animal welfare submission, not the King's Speech."

Charity waves a dismissive hand as they settle into their seats on the train, naturally, Vanessa packs far too many supplies for the relatively short train journey, and her girlfriend is positive that she doesn't need her sandwiches cut like Johnny prefers them, but the gesture is all sorts of adorable. Vanessa is carefully reviewing cue cards and mouthing the key points and strange Latin medical terms.

"You have done more than enough family duties of late, with practically saving Ryan's life and all the least I can do is come along to support my girl."

"We aren't operating a ledger system, Charity, pitching in is just what people do for family. Beside's I'm no hero Ryan's leg was never in any danger, all the arteries were intact, the doctors at the hospital did all the heavy lifting with splinting and casting before referring to PT. We were lucky it was such a clean break, and Ryan is half in love with his new physical therapist."

"Word of advice babe, ease up on the medical details around a mother who is trying to eat lunch" Charity winces as she takes a bite. "and there is no 'half' about it, clearly having a thing for bossy short people is a genetic trait."

"Somebody has to keep you in line, it may as well be me," Vanessa says with a theatrical sigh.

"Would you like to test out your skills at a local club after your talk, we can blow off some steam?"

"Or we could pick up some presents for the kids and visit Big Ben for some cheesy couple selfies to make my sister happy?" Vanessa counters with a smile."

"Heaven forbid Tracy isn't happy, the meddling florist." Charity mutters softly.

"I wonder if we can get some Pet Petrol toys for Moses and Johnny, they have everything or local store stocks and Noah is dying for that E-sports tickets" Vanessa begins running down the list and possibly spending their next three paychecks. Ryan says that Irene and Vanessa are the two most generous people in the Emmerdale area and its hard to disagree at this point.

Truthfully Charity couldn't think of much she would like better than trailing Vanessa around London and carrying the bags like the stereotypical 'kept partner'. It's been stressful helping Ryan recover from his broken leg, Noah's guilt, Sarah's illness and the toddlers. Perhaps she should get Tracy some chocolates or the latest makeup palate from her favourite youtube influencer or something.

***

Dr Vanessa Woodfeild makes Charity Dingle care about things.

Charity Dingle is a passionate woman who adores her family and even summons feelings for all her exes to varying degrees. Irene channels her deep emotions into more constructive pathways but doing so took plenty of wrong choices occurring first. In all her many dramas, she was never taught to notice let along care about the general plight of society and its creatures beyond what happens within her orbit. The Stocks were miracle workers, but Dingle generics are powerful things to contend with, Obadiah Dingle was certainly too prideful to shed 'wasteful' tears.

"My name is Dr Vanessa Woodfeild, and I am vet and practice owner from Emmerdale, and I want to discuss the genetic and health costs of hoarding in rural animal populations."

Charity leans forward in her seat in the section reserved for members of the public. The powerpoint images are of puppies and cats that look similar to the ones who were the newest members of her family. Listening to Vanessa itemise their injuries, from paws to coat and bone deformities makes Charity regret stopping for lunch.

"Sadly, the psychological injuries are often too severe for the older animals to recover from..."

Vanessa moves on to technical discussions about animal behaviour and trauma, but all Charity can focus on is the images of animals in cages with sad eyes and raw wounds. Strangely she gets flashbacks to her days on the street just after her father chucked her out before she even became good enough at turning tricks to feed herself.

"Did I do, ok?" Vanessa asks anxiously during the recess

"Of course you did, you had them eating you out of your hand after the first twenty syllable word. I still maintain that you should have worn the yellow rainjacket to seal the deal" Charity offers forcing herself to blink back tears.

"You have a strange fetish there, Dingle."

Vanessa gives her a questioning look before dragging her over to meet some colleagues who are speaking in the next session. Charity finds herself grasping Vanessa's hand tightly as she listening to vets and activists make plans to save puppies and kittens across the country; she is so proud to be here with this woman.

The rest of the presentation is more comfortable from Charity's perspective as they are talking about the mechanics of changing the law in the short and long term, such as crate measures and timeframes. The only pictures are graphs and infographics. Vanessa offers her a thumbs up with an adorable lack of subtly. Charity tries for a small way but ends up grinning like a goofy idiot or one of the many fools at the bar who soon over their love interest on Valentine's Day.

 

***

"Oh Sweetheart, things are getting better, I promise you no matter how bleak the reports sound, remember we are trying to make a case for change."

"My ovaries are shrivelling up, and my hormones are having one last party, its why I'm like this."

Charity suspects her argument loses some of its power when she bursts into when her screensaver of the boys with Rosie and Axel pops up. Vanessa brews her a comforting cup of (far too weak tea) and lets her sob inconsolably about the fate of animals in pet mills and the exotic animal trade and a tiger called Simba. Her girlfriend rocks Charity like she is a small child after a nightmare and hums off key.

Vanessa gently pushes her back onto the bed before kicking her shoes off and twisting them into a weird version of the Big Spoon and Little Spoon, wiping at the tears and running her fingers through Charity's hair.

" Or you are softer and kinder than you give yourself credit for and the idea of animals like our suffering is upsetting to you." Vanessa challenges before pressing a kiss into Charity's hairline.

"My idea is more likely" Charity sniffs before reaching for a tissue. "You know I didn't care about any of this stuff before you jumped me in the Woolpack celler."

"Revisionist history there Dingle but for argument's sake, there is nothing wrong with caring about things is there. When we get home, I will talk you through some options for supporting the Welfare Reform Bill."

"I'm sorry I didn't help more when you were writing your additions, Tracy was right to call me out."

"My sister is overprotective you helped me plenty but bringing me tea, food and taking on the lion's share of parenting duties for our youngest two. There is plenty you can still do; unfortunately, this hearing is only round one."

"In future tell me when you are doing more than the everyday cow rangling and nurturing an unfortunate Chinchilla, I want to know about your work life, it isn't much you don't know about the Woolpack."

"The Woolpack is a feature for our whole town, practically public domain."

"Not the storeroom - I have particular memories about that place that is definitely not for public viewing."

Vanessa obliges by filling in the background of the animal welfare reforms and what they are hoping to do in the future, not just minimal enforceable standards but significant change especially in rural areas that do not have as many welfare officers. She sprinkles the serious stories with humorous ones from her time in school and first learning how to milk a cow.

***

"Feel better?"

The voice waking Charity Dingle up is, but the setting is not, for one thing, two energetic toddlers aren't shuffling into the room for morning cuddles. Charity blinks at the woman standing up the hotel room bed trying to bring the pieces into focus and solve the mystery of why her nose felt like a collapsing balloon, and her eyes were sandpaper rough. The lack of a hangover was a clue that she hasn't been on a bender of any kind which is always a bonus.

"Shit we have a whole itinerary of tourist crap to do!" Charity bolts into a seated position scrambling for her phone to check the time.

"No, we don't the only thing we have on our agenda is visiting my favourite pizza place that was practically my single source of nutrition during my last rotation during school."

"But you were keen to see that witch show" Charity replies trying to get her hair into some order.

"London isn't that far away, Charity there will be more shows, and Big Ben isn't going anywhere."

Charity offers a grateful smile before reaching for the dress Vanessa lays out for her; there is a winter coat and boots at the bottom of the bed and makeup remover to aid the panda eyes that come from sleeping after crying. Naturally, Vanessa is annoying the fundamental principle of staying at a hotel and is tidying up her tissues and folding the blankets neatly.

"Hey Dr Housekeeper, want to conserve water and share a shower with me?"

"An excellent idea, Miss Dinge'

Charity Dingle prides herself on her powers of seduction and physical intimacy, being in a serious relationship doesn't change that reality, but the pure comfort of being close is a novelty. Vanessa lathers shampoo into her hair and lean in to kiss away a fresh round of tears.

  
***

"Wow, this pizza is awesome."

Vanessa grins in delight as if she milled the flower herself. The place is tiny, with less than ten tables, but there is a pleasant family atmosphere, the mixture of smells is tantalising, the waiters and manager give Vanessa a hug and swoon over pictures of Johnny. It still makes Charity smile when this woman is so eager to introduce her as her girlfriend, with no shame or doubt.

"We are coming back here next time and bringing the boys and Debbie's lot" Charity declares reaching for her third slice.

"You realise how many logistics that will involve right? and it could be even more if Aaron and Robert's adoption plans work" Vanessa grins

"We can handle anything us."

"Yes, I do believe we can."

"Who knew I would be the one so eager for family trips, pizza and animal sob stories."

"I did, why do you think I stuck around and did my vertebrae permanent harm by sleeping on that couch for far longer than Axel and Rosie needed a vet for, Pearl still hasn't forgiven me for not charging you an overnight fee."

"You were angling for the more fabulous prize of this old diamond in rough?" Charity teases with a smile

"Thats, a stupid sales term, meant for houses, not people you were always a diamond to me, even when you were an idiot."

Charity laughs before calling over the waiter to look at the dessert menu, Vanessa all but demands they share the custom tiramisu with particular chocolate and exported coffee combination. The adjectives could be a marketing ploy, but Charity still prepares for a food selfie to send back to Emmerdale. They look disgustingly happy in the shoot sharing one spoon, but Charity hits send anyway.

Vanessa glances at her phone and grins at the message from Irene, Moses and Johnny were sleeping on the floor after scrawling yet more pictures on Ryan's cast. The foot in question is resting on the coffee table surrounded by a vaguely sickening amount of chocolate wrappers and chip packets, knowing Irene there will be veggies off shot somewhere.

  
***

" Aaron and Robert will be so disappointed that we aren' hitting the clubs."

Vanessa laughs softly as they continue walking around the streets of London, revisiting some of Vanessa's favourite and adorably geeky haunts.  
Charity doesn't even mind spending over an hour in a knitting and craft store which is open surprisingly late. Her girlfriend retrains herself to one bag of wool which is are bright hues and would be perfect for Christmas sweaters. Charity has a feeling she will be sporting a whole series soon.

"I brought you a present" Vanessa sing songs.

"Babe, your faith in me is touching, but knitting is not my calling." Charity says with a mock mournful tone.

Vanessa gives her a gentle shove before handing over a small package wrapped in brown paper and white string.

"I didn't see you sneaking into a lingerie store, you naughty girl." Charity quips with a girl.

"Hush you. If we ever head to a lingerie store we won't be sneaking; Miss Dingle now open your gift."

Charity hides a smile as she carefully unties the string and fights a swell of tenderness when she undercovers three books. The first two are cryptic crossword books from her favourite series. The last one is a signed copy of Jane Goodall latest book about her hope for animals and the environment. Only Vanessa would sneak off after a tiring day to find her a book to lift her spirits. This trip is supposed to be about supporting the vet, not the other way round.

"She did a book signing at a local bookstore I scored the last copy."

Vanessa lets out a squeak of surprise when Charity pulls her into a fierce hug that will probably strain bones. She doesn't want to cry again or struggle over sappy words so a hug will have to do, at least until they are alone and clothing is an option.

 


End file.
